I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
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