Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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