i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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