OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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