i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize