if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
