HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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