I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
