I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
