So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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