we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
