Please, let me fuck your mom
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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