Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
