I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
