so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My ATM looks so different sober.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
