god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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