It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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