Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
