it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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