Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize