I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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