Having a random hookup so left but love u
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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