everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
