i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
