I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Your dad touched me again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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