can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize