Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
