ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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