It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
