What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How does it feel to date your dad?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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