You're completely useless in the revolution.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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