And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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