I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
