Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
