Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
two words: eviction party
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
