Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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