if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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