hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
