I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
