Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
