But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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