So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize