I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
