just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize