Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
