Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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