I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
