im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
