I'm drive I can fine osifer
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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