I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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