ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
