this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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