so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just found a bag of teeth...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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