Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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