He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have feelings that need drinking.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
