4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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