I puked a lego.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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