i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
