Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....