She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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