i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
