Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
