a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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