I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
