Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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