I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
