Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
