they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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