Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize