you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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